Archive for April, 2015


Suffering Makes Sense

Its been a month since the accident. Each day a new beginning, challenge and opportunity. What do I do with it?

While being hit by a car was never on my bucket list, it has provided me with a way to reach out to others who have experienced and are experiencing unexpected pain and sorrow in their own lives as one who knows.

The stories are a beautiful peek into depth of the human soul. We are stronger than we think. We are able to withstand immense, long lasting pain and we are capable of growth in holiness beyond our wildest imagination through all this.

No one looks for suffering, no one wants to wake up on a burn unit or ICU with needles and tubes connected everywhere, and stop their lives while the unexpected takes priority. Yet, every moment of everyday this is what happening all over when we least expect it.

Why?

Something about suffering makes sense. We can see it tangibly on a human level, how those that survive and surmount great pain and suffering are somehow stronger, wiser, transformed. Something changes in us on a profound level. Those who suffer long term disabilities, near death experiences and the like are wise beyond their years.

So this little thing I am going through I have to look at as a gift as crazy as that sounds. Good can come from bad things- that is a fact. The good I have witnessed so far is the effect this has had on others. They pay attention more when they drive, they bought helmets and promote their use, they pray harder and more regularly, they reach out with meals and cards and visits in their busy days. I am blessed beyond measure by the outpouring of love and generosity.

On a spiritual level I can only imagine what changes are taking place and how the Lord applies my pain and suffering to the One Body of Christ as a means of healing and reparation.

So I accept this, give it over to Jesus, and pray that one day I will get the privilege of seeing some of the good that came from this small moment in my life.

A Second Chance

It’s been almost three weeks since I was hit by a car riding to work. That’s the day my life took a radical step backwards, and now consists of baby steps forward. On one hand it is kind of surreal, on the other hand, it is very real.

Each day is a new beginning. I’m learning to ask for help instead of doing everything myself. I am a little more attentive to when I need to sit and rest when I have done too much. Even though “too much” is really nothing at all. It’s weird going from independent to dependent.

The thing is people want to help, they really do. People who are hurt just don’t always like asking. I’m guilty of that. I think I am bothering someone, interrupting something important, being too needy. It takes humility to ask, to depend, to let someone do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

Funny how God is helping me work on my pride through all this. I did ask for more humility after all. I don’t think I knew what that meant, or how God might make that happen. God knows exactly what is necessary to  bring about our holiness.

This Easter I really thanked God for my life, for this second chance life. I could be very buried by now. Almost forgotten about, a distant memory on the minds of those that once knew me, a life once lived and then cruelly, unexpectedly taken away.

Instead, I am here. Broken, scarred and bruised, a little worse for the wear; but alive.

Let me not waste this day, this moment, this second chance.

The God of the universe has given me a chance to continue to serve Him even in my messed up state.  Perhaps to spread joy instead of misery, to see life through wiser eyes and a grateful heart.

And if I might just give one little piece of advice to my fellow bikers out there; wear a helmet. Don’t assume cars can see you, don’t cross in the middle of a busy road in the dark just cause you think it is clear.  Be careful out there, or you will end up like me or worse. Motorists are distracted and likely do not see you. If you want to live another day be extra cautious, and anticipate the unexpected.

Alleluia! I’m alive!